Henry's Wife, No Big Help

Henry's Wife No Big help
(Tales Of The Lost Patrol)

(C) James J Alonzo

One warm summer starlight night, we clocked a speeder in a red corvette convertable shoot by our position. The alarm on the radar unit exploded with the rapids beep-beep sound, not giving me much warning to grab my cup of coffee before Jack accelerated, and spilled my coffee on my pants!

"Shit Jack!" I shouted as I looked at his grinning face, "Just once, just once, give me a warning!" 

As we pursued the corvette, the convertable top was down, so it was easy to observe  the driver and passenger. Jack asked,

"You recognize the driver?"

"It looks like Henry, the Attica correction officer. Isn't he married to the Japanese lady name Suzy?"

"Yep, that's the one." Jack said, "looks like he bought a new car."

"Well he needs something to make him happy." I laughed, "Marrying Suzy didn't work out so well for him!"

We had known Henry and his wife Suzy from law enforcement picnics and other social get togethers. Henry was a man in his 30's,  5'9", 220 lbs., blonde hair. Henry had met his wife in Okinowa, fell in love, and got married. Suzy, was an attractive petite asian lady, but didn't speak a lick of English till she got to America. That was good for Henry because he had a wife that served his every needs and at anytime he wanted. But once Suzy got to America she slowly learned English, however that was bad for Henry. In Japan the wife waits on her husband hand and foot, but after Suzy started to learned English, her new America lady friends told her this was America, and she had rights! 

That she no longer had to rub his feet as soon as he got home, that wasn't done in America. This was America, you no longer had to bath your husband, make him do it himself!  This was America, and your husband no longer had congigal rights when ever he desired. So Henry's well trained Japanese wife, Suzy, was now canceling 'the waiting on her husband hand and foot' program. Suzy became Americanized, and Henry was permanently grumpy. After all this was America!

Still pursuing Henry; When you are at a dead stop, parked and a vehicle passes your position at well over a 100 MPH, it takes your vehicle a few miles to catch up to the speeding vehicle. If they are traveling at a 100 MPH, you have to exceed 120 MPH or more. 

Pursuing speeders, with Jack driving at 'WARP' speed, dodging obstacles in the road, like other vehicles, can be a hairy dangerous ride! 

When we finally stopped the Corvette, as we approached the vehicle, Jack took the driver's side and I as backup took the passenger side, we found a man that smelled of booze,

"What's the problem officer?" asked Henry sarcastically.

"You were speeding at 100 miles per hour in a 55 zone." said Jack

"No sir, I was going 65", said Henry.

"Oh Henry," interrupted his wife Suzy, "You were going 100 miles an hour!"

Henry snaps his head in his wife's direction,  giving his wife a dirty look!

"Well Henry, you're getting the speeding ticket," Jack added, "and I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

"Broken tail light? I don't have a broken tail light!" said Henry

" Oh Henry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." said Suzy. Henry gives his wife another dirty look!

" Further more," Jack says, " I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

"No, that's not right! Henry protested. "I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

" Oh Henry, you never wear your seat belt. You told me it bothers your digestion!"

"Shut your mouth, woman!" shouts Henry.

"Suzy, does Henry always talk to you this way?" I asked, laughing at Henry's discomfort.

"No, only when he's drunk."

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