Get Out Of My Way Stupid!

GET OUT OF MY WAY STUPID!

(C) James J Alonzo

One night on routine patrol along the Lake Shore at about 3 a. m. Jack and I found a pickup truck on the beach, near a well known night club called "Micky Rats".

"Well, let's take a look and see if there is a driver and passenger," Jack said.

 The truck had been rolled over and had a lot of damage to it. It was upside down, however, no bodies, no one was around it, and the keys were still in the ignition. 

Our department's policy on one vehicle accidents like this, especially at night when we would have to call someone out, was that we would work the accident, do an accident investigation, only if a driver was present at the scene. We notified radio of the situation, description, and location. The day shift can handle this.   

"I bet this clown calls in that his truck was stolen after he's sobered up enough to figure out his story." said Jack.

"Jack you are so distrusting!" I said sarcastically, "Such little faith in your fellow man. You need to change your evil ways.

We were sure the owner of the truck would call and report it as being stolen. It was not unusual for someone to get drunk, have an accident then try to report their vehicle as being stolen.

"West five", crackled the radio, "see the owner, a Mr. Paul Crowly, on stolen pickup truck accident, at parking lot of Micky Rats."

 Sure enough, in a few minutes the dispatcher notified us that they had the owner of the truck on the phone reporting it as stolen.

"Radio, Roger that, eta five minutes."

After we got to the site, it wasn't but a couple of minutes he showed up. He had not even bothered changing clothes. He was wet and covered with sand from head to toe, also very highly intoxicated.

We started asking him questions,

"Where was your truck when it was stolen?" I asked, "and when? 

"How'd you get wet?" Jack piped in, not giving him a chance to answer, "and how come you have beach sand all over you?"

 He became very nervous and at this point we asked him,

"Do you realize if you had been driving," I said, " you could be charged with filing a false police report?"

"Just forget the whole thing if you don't believe me." he shouted with hostility, as he moved to go around me to walk off. 

I looked at Jack, he smiled and moved away from the patrol vehicle, telling me with body language, that He was going to handle this.

Jack blocked the perp's path with his 6'4" 280 pound body and put his hand against the perp's chest to stop him from leaving and told him,

"You're going to wait because we're not finish Investigating this! In fact I think you were the driver!"

The perp slapped Jack's hand away and said,

"Get out of my way, Stupid!"

The perp quickly found that he had just done two things which you just don't do to Police Officers at 3 a.m., or any other time for that matter. Those two things were slap at them and call them names.

He also found out why this "'stupid' Officer" was nicknamed "The Choker." Jack reached out with his right hand and grabbed the perp by the throat.  Jack over the years, had found this to be an effective hold early in his career and had used it a lot.

Jack found out that men do exactly what you want them to do, if you control their breathing, it does not matter how big or bad you are, you've got to have air to fight.

The perp hadn't counted on was the quick reaction of Jack who arrested the perp for resisting arrest, filing a false report, and disorderly conduct and put him in the patrol car.

While I went to close the door he yelled, "I want to talk to whoever is in charge!" I told him he was talking to the person who was in charge. At that point he calmed down and asked, "Would it help if I apologized?"

It didn't help, we were finished, we took him to jail.

******

During the period of our time as partners, Jack and I would lecture each other on things we felt the other was doing wrong. My pet peeve was Jack was a big strong man, and and expert at brute force. I on the other hand, standing at  5'10", and 160 lbs. used an art that I was well trained in, assorted martial arts, Ju Jit Su,  Krav Magna, and Dim Mak*

The reader should keep in mind that this period I am wetting about is the 1970s into the 1980s, there was no such thing as a TASER(R).

One night on routine patrol, we got a radio call,

"FIVE WEST, SEE THE NEIGHBOR, 183 MILL STREET, VILLAGE ANGOLA, INTOXICATED WOMAN THROWING ROCKS AT HOUSES AND PASSING VEHICLES."

"Roger, 183 Mill Street." I responded.

"This should be simple enough," Jack said with a smile, Some crazy drunk broad."

"Try not to choke her or sit on her." I said laughing.

When we arrived, it wasn't hard to find the crazy lady, we spotted her immediately since she was in the process of throwing a rocks at our patrol vehicle!

"Judas Priest!" I shouted, "this broad is crazy!" As another rock bounced off my door.

After we exited the patrol vehicle we had to dodge more rocks, Jack shouting out for her to stop, charged her, tackling her. There was a crowd of people outside watching. 

"You fucking pig! Get off me!" The crazy lady shouted as she was being hand cuffed by Jack.

She was dark haired, 5'3",  about 110 lbs., wearing heavy construction type boots, blue jeans, and T-shirt. 

 "Shit pig, they're too tight!" she complained of the handcuffs being behind her back.

"Don't worry," I said, "The handcuffs are new but they'll stretch in time."

"Fuck you pig!"

"Thank you but I'll have to decline."

After Jack got the perp on her feet, she started kicking Jack's legs and tried to kick him in the balls. Jack, holding her arm, extended his muscled arm so her kicks couldn't reach him. He knew there was a crowd so he had to be careful that he didn't look like police brutality. 

"You need help getting her in the car?" I asked.

"No!," Jack replied impatiently, "I don't need your damn help with this broad!" 

He pulled her to the rear door of the squad car, and as he opened the door, she kicked him again in the shins!    

"Shit!" Jack yelled, "Stop it!" but she continued kicking his shin!

He tried to push her into the back seat, by placing his big meaty hand on her stomach and pushing, but she arched her back, and refused to sit into the back seat, shouting,

"No I won't!"

"Just get in the car lady!"

When Jack stop pushing she would kick him in the shins again with those construction boots!

"Shit lady! Quick kicking!"

Leaning against the trunk of the squad car, I was laughing every time Jack got kicked.

"You need help?" I asked, laughing.

"Yeah, smart ass,!" Jack said to me, "go ahead show me!" 

Jack back away from the kicking lady, 

"She's all yours Mr, Karate man!" Jack pissed, said sarcastically.

"Okay Jack," holding up my right index finger in the air, "One finger, just one finger, and she will go in the car willingly."

"Show me, don't talk, just show me!" Jack taunted.

I walked up to the kicking lady, still holding my right index finger up in the air,

"You going to get in the car?"

"No you fucking idiot!" and then kicked me in the shins.

I quickly took my index finger and pushed it into her neck just above her sternum between the sternoclavicular points of her clavicle. This is call the jugular notch, which has a bundle of nerves located there.

"Awk!" she choked at the painful pressure, and it force her to get relief by backing into the rear seat and sitting down, where I immediately fastened her seat belt to secure her. Shutting the door I smiled at Jack and walked past him, with my index finger in the air!

"One finger, just one finger Jack."

********* 

*Dim mak (death touch)  is an ancient martial art that consists of striking certain points on the body to cause illness or death. The points are usually called dim mak points, but they are also referred to as vital points and pressure points. The majority of these points correspond to the same locations as acupuncture points. Dim mak is an extremely dangerous martial art, which can cause a great deal of damage to the human body. Applying pre sure with fingers can cause extreme pain. Most Dim Mak specialists use finger strengthening techniques like push ups on your fingers tips,  punching bag strikes with your finger tips, etc. 

*Jujutsu, martial art from Japan consisting of grappling and striking techniques