Amphibious Arrest 1983

Amphibious Arrest 1983
(stories of the Lost Patrol)
(C) James J Alonzo

The phone startled me awake one early morning,

"Hey! What are you doing?!" asked the voice of my partner and friend Jack.

"Jack, do you have any idea what time it is?" I sleepily asked.

"Yeah, it's nighttime. It's two AM, Saturday morning, and I need your help!"

"My help?"

"Yeah, I got three warrants for three burglary suspects, and I found out where they are. They're camping at the Derby cliff beaches."

"Who is it Jim?" asked my wife Nanci.

"It's Jack, sweetie", I answered her, then back to speaking to Jack,

"So picked them up, what do you need me for?" I asked.

"I need you to help me, we been after these perps all summer, and if we get them I make sure your name is in the paper!"

"Tell Jack to get lost." Nanci said as she rolled over and tried to get back to sleep.

"Jack, Nanci says go fuck yourself." and I hung up, laid back down. No sooner did I close my eyes, the phone rang again. "Shit! Picking up the phone again,

"What!"

"I'll be there in five minutes!" Jack said and hung up.

This was 1982, no cell phones, so he had been calling me from a pay phone. I normally would have been with Jack patrolling, but there had been a scheduling problem. So I thought I had the night off, 

"Nanci, I am going out to serve a warrant with Jack." I told my sleepy wife.

"That's nice, see if you can shoot Jack accidentally for me." then she rolled over, mumbling something about never marry a cop. 

I should have known he'd pull this stunt and find something for us to do tonight! I got up and dressed into jeans, black T-shirt, running shoes, Sheriff's Department baseball hat, shoulder holster for my .45 caliber pistol. Just as I finished dressing, I couldn't help hearing Jack arriving, so too the neighbors! Jack pulled in my driveway sirens and lights on!

"That's my partner Jack," I said to myself. He does this to wake my neighbors up, pissed them off, later this weekend I will have to answer to them why the noise at 2 AM!

I got in the patrol car looking at Jack's broad beaming face, and the look there was like a boy that had played a trick on his parents! 

"You do  know you're an asshole don't you?"

"Yeah, but I also know where the perps are!" Jack laughed, "I got a tip from one of my informers on their location. These are the clowns have been burglarizing the homes and Summer cottages. We haven't been able to identify them if it wasn't for that one mansion having a camera hookup and got all three on video tape."

"You better be right. Besides Nanci wants me to accidentally shoot you for waking her up!" 

As we drove down the highway at speeds of over 80 MPH, Jack further filled me in on his plans and information he had. The perps were located at the Derby Cliffs, which stood over 100 feet rising from the beach. The only way the public can reach the beach was to step down 10 flights of steel stairs. At previous times the perps would hear the cops start down the stairs and the perps would take off. On the other hand, one could approach the beach from a boat at night, be confused as fishermen.

The three burglars were brother known as the Winnerts. Richard, John and Norman. They had been spending all summer here, and committing their crimes.

"You want me to do what?" I asked incredulously.

"Listen," Jack said, "You know how to operate a row boat, and in the trunk of this very patrol car, I have a 75 horse outboard motor, and away we go, after the bad guys!

As Jack was describing his plan his voice went up a range of higher octaves!

"Jack, there is a problem," I advised, "we don't have a row boat!"

"No! Your wrong Jim, we have one of the rental boats at Sturgeon Point boat harbor."

(Sturgeon Point harbor is in Derby, New York small boat harbor where the town rents row boats and dock space for citizen's bigger boats. The harbor inlet is three sided with land on two sides, and a limestone wall on the lake (Erie) side) protecting the boats in the harbor from heavy weather and storms)

"Okay, I see, this is one of your well thought of ideas. We don't have a boat, but the public through the town does, and I'm sure the town has no idea of your plan? I'll bite what boat are we using?"

"The town rents out these boats for fishing during the summer, right?" Jack asked, still excited over his plan! "Besides your plans suck too! What about your idea on the business, professional mourning service?"

Choosing to ignore his criticism, I said,

"Those boats are chained up for the evening and locked,,," then it hit me, "oh no you're not!" 

I was suddenly aware that Jack hadn't asked permission, he didn't even let the watch commander know of his plan, rules and procedures call for...

"I got a special key!" Jack said laughing, "I got bolt cutters! We get the boat, hook up the outboard motor, and off we go to arrest these smart ass Winnert brothers. And when we get back we will do a burglary report on the boat, and what the Hell weblame the Winnert brothers for that too!"

"We are going to get in trouble, I can see it coming." I said resignedly.

"I don't know why you are sitting there pounding your head against the head rest, it's a good plan." Jack said trying to convince me.

"One of these days I'm going to be in prison, looking out, because of you, and I hope Nanci shoots you in the balls for revenge."

"Don't be an old lady," Jack said laughing, "It will be a cake walk, trust me will you?"

Trust him? I trust him with my life, but this is the same police officer, who in his short career erected five police cars in 'high pursuit chases or officer in trouble' calls. This is the officer that responded to a 'noise under house', shot a skunk, not realizing that when a skunk dies against it's will it tend to let go it's sent gland one big and last time!

Trust him? This is the same officer that when bored one night at 3 AM, decided to practice his shooting in a field by shooting at a painted iron pipe that was sticking out of the ground. When I drove up I pointed out that the iron pipe was a natural gas vent pipe. 

When we got to Sturgeon Point harbor, we got out of the patrol car, Jack got his motor and the bolt cutters out of the trunk. The night was black, starless, no clouds and there was no Moon. However the wind was blowing a good 15 knots, the shelter harbor was calm, but I was beginning to wonder about the lake outside the harbor.

"Well I picked out a boat and cut the lock," Jack said, "so here give me a hand hooking up the motor."

"Jack, what do you think the lake is like outside the break wall?"

"No I mean, there is a wind, do you think the swells and wave might be too high for this boat?"

"You're such a chicken, it'll be fine! Go get a a couple of life vests if you're so worried."

"Yeah I'll get TWO vests, one for me and one for YOU." I sad sarcastically.

"Well I have to cover my uniform, don't I?"

"Yeah right, you're so full of shit! Come on let's get this abortion over with!"

We loaded the motor on the boat and pushed out into the harbor. Sitting in the rear of the boat I started the motor, Jack stood in the front of the boat like the scene from the famous painting of George Washington crossing the Delaware. As we past the break wall the waves and swells were high, and the boat was bouncing a lot, proving my point.

"Just what I said Jack, you asshole! We are going to capsize in a stolen town boat, drown, and the watch commander nor our wives have any clue where we are!"

"Relax, I have a radio, if we get in trouble, I'll radio for help. Besides, it's not so bad, I'm standing here, and the waves don't have me scared."

Then a wave hit the boat from the side fully, rocking the boat severely and Jack almost loosing his balanced, hunkered down and started to put his life vest on.   

We had to go west out of the harbor and sail north about a quarter mile, then west, around a point of land. Once around this point we would head south towards the Highland Beaches. Normally on a calm day, it would take fifteen minutes tops, but tonight with these rough waters, it took us forty-five minutes. After we suffered bouncing water, soaking waves, the motor overworking, smoking, wanting to stall, we finally sailed south toward the beach, the Winnerts, the waves picking up the boat and propelling us forward.

"Jack, your an asshole," I shouted, " I should have my head examined for doing this stunt!"

"Jim this stunt will be great!" Jack shouted back, besides the hard part is over. The motor is not working hard or smoking anymore. We'll be in the newspapers on this one!"

We continued bickering and shouting over the noise from the waves, the Sind and the overworked motor. We stop talking once we saw the camp fire on the beach. We could see the three perps laying in sleeping bags near their fire. Jack resumed his George Washington position at the front of the boat.

"Jim, steer more to the left!", Jack guided me, "More to the left, damn it!"

"Fuck you, the swells and waves are not making this easy!"

"Well try damn it!"

As we got as close as 50 yards to the beach we hit a huge rock that was partly under the water, and almost flipped the boat over. This caused us to laugh aloud, just because of the irony of this mission, trying to make an amphibious arrest in these dangerous conditions. Maybe it was a release for the pent up fear and apprehension we had, but it seemed to us as the right thing to do. We could hear the perps laughing at us, probably thinking we were drunk fishermen.

We gathered our composure, and continued to the beach, with the only light was from the suspects fire. When the boat hit the beach we were ten feet from the perps. Jack leap off, and hearing one of the suspects ask what our problem was? Jack opened his life vest, pulled his pistol and stated,  

"Police, asshole, you’re under arrest, and not to move!" 

Since all three were in their sleeping bags, they were not in any position to bolt. Taking out one suspect at a time, we handcuffed first Richard, Norman, and John. Once secured we searched for weapons, finding a 9MM pistol, numerous jewelry, and unstamped cartons of cigarettes that were stolen from a truck. The  beach was full of stolen property from many local burglaries, so I knew we had the right guys.

We gave them their Miranda rights, but these clowns seemed to be chatty as they stood there hand cuffed. 

"Man that was slick!" said Richard Winnert. "We thought you were a bunch of lost fishermen, too stupid to get off the lake in a small boat in this weather!"

"Shut up stupid!" I ordered, looking at Jack who was wearing his 'I told you' shit eating grin on his face! I hated it when Jack is right! I gave the perps their Miranda rights. 

The three of the perps continued speaking to each other on the way we came by the lake and surprised them, never expecting cops to risk their lives or use trickery such as this to apprehend them. They even thought when we hit the rock, that we were just some drunk fishermen, because of the way we were shouting at each other.

"11 Bravo to Radio." Jack radioed dispatch.

"This is Radio, come in 11 Bravo."

"We need a pick up for three perps, location Derby beach cliffs stairwell."

"Roger, pickup perps, Derby Cliff stairwell."

Having lined the talkative Winnert brothers so we could keep and eye on them, Jack decided to break some news to me,

"Jim, I'll take this jerks up the stairs for the pickup and ride back with them to the station, meanwhile you take the boat back."

"Fuck that! Leave the boat here, and pick it up tomorrow!"

"We can't!", Jack responded, "We have to return the boat before the town finds out it was borrowed!"

"Yeah Jack, the key word is WE! And WE return the boat together, or WE bring it back tomorrow!"

"Don't be an old lady, just take the boat back, and I'll take these clowns back and book them."

Laughing aloud, 

"I can't believe you expect me to take the boat back alone in this wind and high swells?"

"That's right Jim, you know I have to assist the pickup officer when you have three perps..."

"You're a fucking liar!" (He said this knowing the the patrol car has a cage between the driver and the perps, and doors that lock from the front, besides the perps were handcuffed.) " You're just afraid to go back in that fucking boat!" I said laughing.

"No I'm not! I really have to go with these clowns; It's my arrest after all." Jack said.

"I'll tell you what," I said, "the perps can go back with us on the boat back to the harbor. That way they can appreciate what we went through on that damn lake just to arrest them."

Meanwhile the Winnert brothers have been uncomfortably been listening to our conversation, their heads moving back and forth, like watching a tennis match.

"Jim, we can't do that! What if the boat capsized and the perps drown, we'll go to jail for manslaughter!"

Sensing that our perps were getting concerned, I decided to have a little fun with this argument. 

"Fuck them Jack, we'll handcuff them to the seats, if we capsize they can go down with the boat! We deny they were even in our custody!"

"What the shit are you saying? Are you nuts!" Jack said. 

Meanwhile Richard Winnert piped in,

"No no man, my brothers and I will ride in the police car."

"Shut up!" I said, "You have the right to remain silent, so keep you stupid mouth shut! Or I'll knock your teeth out!"

"Jim calm down!"

"Calm down shit! This is you fucking arrest, your boat motor! Remember I was peacefully sleeping and safely in my bed, until you needed my help. So I quit, you take the boat back, I'll ride with the perps in the car!"

"Let's go", I started to herd the Winnert brothers towards the steel stairs. "Move it assholes, you clowns and I are riding in the patrol car."

Jack followed us up the stairs continuing to argue his points, 

"Jim, I should go with the perps, not you. And we got to return the boat or we'll be in trouble."

"You just said it. WE got to return the boat. So WE are going to hand off the perps, and go take the boat back or it sits here. So when we get in your car you can drop me off at home and then go to the station an write up your felony arrest report."

"Okay I'll clear it with the watch commander. Shit! You are a pain in the ass!"

I didn't bother to respond. When we got to the top of the stairs, it was our watch commander, Lt. Jackman waiting for us.

"I might have known Alonzo you would be involved in this cluster fuck!", as he opened the patrol car and placed the perps in the back seat.

"Sir!", I responded, "I give all the credit to Jack for this arrest. He deserves it! You should put him in for a medal!  I was just sleeping and he kidnapped me against my will."

"Shut up!" Lt. Jackman shouted, as he slammed the car door shut on the perps. It is a known fact, he liked Jack but had no use for me.

"Yes sir!" I respond, "And thank you!"

"Where'd you get the boat?" Lt. Jackman asked suspiciously, looking down at the beach. 

"Sir, can you transport these punks?" Jack interrupted, "so we can return the boat we borrowed."

"Who's boat is it? I know you clowns don't own one."

"Alonzo's brother," Lied Jack, "he loaned it to us just for this arrest."

"Alonzo's brother? what's his first name?"

"Paul!," I piped in, "but he doesn't want any credit, because he is afraid of retaliation."

"Okay you two clowns get the boat back." ordered Lt. jackman, "and don't take alight, I want these punks booked and arraigned in the morning!"

Lt. Jackman got in his patrol vehicle and drove off at a high rate of speed kicking up dirt, and stones in our direction. 

"Gee, you'd think he's pissed about something?"  I asked sarcastically.

"Why don't you tell Jackman about your idea on professional mourners? That should give him a laugh!" Jack said.

We went back down the stairs to the beach and boat, gathered up the stolen property putting the evidence in the boat.    

"I'll drive the boat." Jack said, "you're too cautious, and you'll take too long!"

"Sure, no skin off my nose. Start up the motor, and I'll untie the rope."

After I heard Jack start up the motor, I heard the motor race, and he must of accidentally put it in gear, for the boat shot off like a rocket, impaling the bottom of the boat on a hidden rock, forcing the boat to spin a few revolutions on top of the rock! As the boat was spinning, I could hear the screech of metal! I knew this was not good, but Jack manage to turn off the motor.

"Why didn't you tell me there was a rock under the water!" Jack laughed. "We're cool, nothing damaged, just a big dent!"

"I thought you knew what you were doing?" I said.

"I do, nothings wrong! Just get in the fucking boat, and let's go!"

We started out on our return trip, Jack driving, and me sitting in the front. The waves and swell were as bad as before, but I was more confident we would get back since Jack was driving the boat. That was until 20 minutes later when Jack shouts out,

"Shit! We're taking water!"

I turned around, and sure enough I saw the leak right where the new dent was. 

"Shit Jack! We have a leak!"

"No shit Sherlock! We got anything to bail out the water?"

"No, you better head to shore right now!" 

But Jack grabbed my baseball cap and started to bail the water out once or twice, then threw my water soaked hat at me and said,

"Get to work!"

I could see he wasn't heading to shore so I bailed water at a very strong tempo. Jack clung to the shoreline. It was a rougher ride but my hat,  water damaged as it was, did the job keeping back the sinking of the boat. We finally got back to the boat harbor at 5 AM,  brought the "borrowed boat" on shore, removed the motor, and left before anyone would see us. Jack dropped me off at my house turning on the lights and s irene as we arrived, waking Nanci and the neighbors!

"Yep! You are an asshole!" I said.

"Jim I really appreciate you helping me on this bust. I couldn't of done it with out you. I promise to make sure your name is listed on the arrest report."

"Yeah? Blow it out your ass!"

The next day while reading the newspaper, there was a headline,

POLICE OFFICER MAKES SOLO AMPHIBIOUS ARREST OF THREE BURGLARY SUSPECTS!

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